Can men and women really be friends?

Not a Holy City specific issue but this is an age old question, one I have debated many times over the years.  According to When Harry Met Sally – the answer is no, but as a girl who has always been “one of the guys”, I used to adamently argue that it is possible.

Every friendship is different and there are no rules.  I consider myself to be a good and loyal friend but I also have high expecatations of my friends in return.   Over the years, I have had a number of very good guy friends – the friendship always began when they were single and not all of them survived when the guy partnered up or got married.  A good male friend of mine recently got married and I love his wife evenmore for recognizing me as part of his life and encouraging my friendship with her husband to continue in the same way it was before.  I think the key to such a platonic male/female frienship is simple – neither of us were ever interested in the other physically or romantically – our friendship exists on an equal plain.

Unfortunately, that is not always true.  I have lost guy friends in the past because the new girlfriend felt threatened by our friendship and couldn’t believe that I didn’t want more from him.  After all, as far as she was concerned, he is the best catch in the world.  Much as I was upset by this, I let the friendships go, but I never understood why the guys didn’t have the balls to stand up to their partner and fight for our friendship!

As I get older, I value my platonic guy friends more and more – they bring a certain balance to my life.  But I also find that it is not easy making new platonic friends when my main focus in life is meeting a guy to settle down with.

I do not really have an answer to this question but I would love to hear what others think about it!


2 thoughts on “Can men and women really be friends?

  1. I have several women that are just friends because I have no sexual or romantic interest in them. For a lot of guys, that isn’t the case. They will mask their friendship as a way to get closer to a woman hoping at some point the girl will fall in love with them. I think the sign is whether they are dating a lot or not. If they’re dating other women, beware.

    Some guys don’t believe in being friends with women. I think that is incredibly short sighted. I’ve had some great friend who are females. On top of that, I’ve dated several quality women I met through female friends.


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